Life, how I see it, how it was, and how I want it to be.
This is my master thesis acknowledgments. I believe it’s worth to be shared outside my thesis.
I would like to express my extreme gratitude to my supervisor Prof. Dr. Carmen Gervet. Her guidance has helped me overcome many of the challenges I faced throughout my thesis and her patience and understanding has always been a constant motivation.
I would like to express my extreme appreciation to Prof. Dr. Slim Abdennadher. He has always been a great mentor and has always pushed me to increase my limits and excel at my work.
I would also like to extend my gratitude to the German University in Cairo (GUC) for its support and help in organizing and sponsoring the RoboCup team. The GUC has been my home for the last seven years and to it I owe my greatest dedication.
I would like to thank my great RoboCup team: Ahmed Abouraya, Dina Helal, Noha Khater, Mina Fahmy, and Ahmed Wafa. Without their help, it would have been impossible to finish this project and achieve the great results we had in RoboCup 2011.
I would also like to express my deepest appreciation to my friends: Mohamed Almehdar for supporting me and helping me choose this topic, Hussein Fahmy for being a great advisor, Hala Gabr for being an amazing colleague, and Menna Saleh for her faith in me and for her constant motivation and support. I do not believe I could have better friends.
Finally I would like to thank my family: my parents, Dr. Samia Hamed, Eng. Mohamed Labib, and my brother Abdelrahman. Thank you for believing in me and helping me throughout my whole life. You have always been patient and understanding. I hope I make you all proud.
I don’t regret it. Not a second of it. It had its times of pain, but it wasn’t without joy. I taught me a lot. It showed me things I never knew existed. It was beautiful and I am grateful. That’s why I don’t regret it. Even when it came so hard, I held on to it accepting all it brought to me. Maybe if I had another chance to go back, I would change whatever caused me to have to let go. But if it was either how it came to be or nothing, I would do it all again. It will always be a sweet memory, not a haunting one; that I will always keep. I may not like much the changes that are to be, may be not like them at all. Yet still, no regrets.
First, I am not an astronomer and I do not know much about planets. But I do know one thing, Saturn is really far. In the image above you can see how Saturn and the moon are seen in the sky. Plus I checked stargazing websites, such as (http://stardate.org/astro-guide/ssguide/saturn) and google earth sky view, Saturn is actually fully lit and appears as a golden star during this period of time. Again I am not an astronomer but I have spent the last couple of hours reading about how Saturn is seen with the naked eye and even with telescopes and I did not see any proof of how the heck can anyone confuse it with the moon crescent.
As for the moon, all websites confirmed the new moon was born at 6:04 am KSA time (5:04 in Egypt). The moonset was almost the same time as sunset, which indeed makes it really hard to confirm that the crescent is visible. I am not expert here and I cannot tell if, astronomically, the moon is considered to be seen or not. But again, why on earth don’t we use cameras to record the crescents as proof?? Though I guess I am a bit more convinced it couldn’t have been seen, but to put the facts, the moon was born and a small part of it was visible.
So to the people of Jeddah Astronomy thing, until you provide some proof to that actually Saturn #zo7al was seen with the naked eye or even with a telescope, I am going with the announced Ro2ya and I am believing it.
And to everyone who raced to spread the rumors, please wait until something is announced with proper proof (except for the jokes, I like them, keep making more :D).
I have been staring at the obvious for a long time. Was it that hard to see? Was I playing stupid? Or was it just denial?
It started it of as a not very random joke with a friend of mine. But it made me notice something I didn’t before. I have been drowning in whirlpools myself for a while. I used to be really good at doing so many things at the same time. I was always tired of course, but the pleasure of accomplishing many goals took care of that. But lately I have been failing miserably at it. I don’t quite know if it’s that what I do gets bigger or if it’s me who’s incapable of doing it any more; it’s a bit of both I guess. Nevertheless, I didn’t stop me from making my whirlpools grow bigger and bigger. I thought I could still handle everything. I was wrong.
I will not attempt doing the same mistake again, though I know that, very soon, life will force a whirlpool on me, a very big one. I will not lie to myself and act as if everything will be normal. But I will not let the whirlpool get bigger. I need to know my priorities. I need to understand sacrifices. I need to sort out all the mess and put everything in it’s right place. I need to survive this coming storm because I know that if it doesn’t kill, it will leave much stronger. I need that.
Wrote this way way back, probably four years ago or more. I don’t know what reminded me of it.
Silence confuses me
No words to say
And angry whispers
Am I lost?
In words that I have not said
In dreams that I kept inside
Silent, to the death
But will they be back?
The words that I have forgotten
But, would I say them again?
Or should I leave them unspoken?
It hurts so deep inside
Where I struggle, to survive
To find myself, I will try
I may fail
But it will not matter
For the words I have left now
Are much more than to come
Just memories, sweet memories
Writing them down and fall
To the utter silence
It’s not easy to let go when you know you have to. But it’s much harder to realize that you should. Sometimes it’s confused with quitting and you take pride in not giving up. But what if it is a fight you cannot win, a fight you can no longer take part in? Are you brave enough to let go of your ego and just stop fighting? Yes, it was worth the fight, worth every single second of it. But you are missing the bigger target. You still can win. You can learn to let go. It will hurt for a while. It will change your life. You may loose a lot of things you never thought you could live without. Yet still, you get to win yourself back. So don’t be afraid of change. Don’t be afraid of time. You don’t know the future and you never will. Don’t be afraid to take a leap of faith. Take risks and jump the loops of fire just because you can. You have learnt to be careful, and you are now. That’s when you let go.
It was late and he was lonely. He went out for a walk. There was no one else in the streets. He thought he knew where he was going; yet he just wandered randomly until he got lost. Inside, he wanted to get lost. He wanted to see and feel things for the first time again. But now, everything was just old to him. Every place he saw had either a memory or a memory that could have been. He was lost.
He kept on going. He didn’t want to stop. He always asked himself why he would. But the night will end sometime soon, and so should the wandering. He wanted to find somewhere new. Somewhere that holds no memories and couldn’t have held ones. He knew this place existed. He didn’t know how to get there. He wasn’t sure if he should search for it. But he was sure he didn’t want to stop the wandering. And again, he was lost.
The sun was getting ready to rise. He didn’t welcome the first lights, but he had wandered aimlessly for long now. He needed to know where he was. He was surprised to finally see that his wandering took him to that place he wanted. It was right in front of him a few footsteps away. But he didn’t move. He kept standing there not believing it. He didn’t want to step in; he wanted to go back. But he didn’t. He just stood still. The sun rose half way in the sky, and he was yet still. He was waiting for the night to come back. He would just turn back and wander again. But he knew this time where it will always end. But for now, he will keep still, for he will always be the late night wanderer.
I have a lot to write about, yet I can’t write a thing. I haven’t written anything in a very long time. Should I give it up for good this time? Or should I keep trying? It hurts not to be able to write.
Things are getting better, one bit at a time. It’s not how I hoped it to be, yet much better than what it could have been.
New lessons learned. Old ones remembered. The pain is slightly growing weaker. It may never go; it shouldn’t.
I wouldn’t say the same two days ago. And nothing had changed much since, if any did at all. But the night is darkest just before the dawn. And all the omens say the dawn is coming soon.
Things are getting better.